I felt like my whole body will collapse!! As I was eyeing my sight to the bedroom, I felt there was a magnet trying to pull me out of my seat and just lie down softly in my bed. I sighed. My eyes were already aching from checking and looking at my care plans for my patients. I rubbed in circles my temporal to at least ease the pain that was slowly taking over me.

As I tried to relax myself, my attention was caught by a picture of four ninjas. Three young ninjas and a Jounin. I suddenly caught myself smiling as I looked at the picture. I let out a little giggle as I begin to reminisce some memories of this ninjas... How stupid!

Hatake Kakashi... that arrogant, mysterious and cocky Jounin from Konoha. He always teased me when we were still together for missions. Hey! Speaking of him.. isn't today is September 19? It was his birthday!! I rushed out of my seat and got my phone book. I browsed hastily at it and looking for his contact number.

I smiled mischievously as I saw his number. I dialled and it rang. I waited for few seconds but none of answer the phone! I guess he was out of his students and having fun. I sighed in grief and guilt. Damn it! How could you forget your boyfriend's birthday?

I was surprised when a silver haired-jounin appeared in front of me. I gave him a sheepish look and smiled.

"Ah... Kakashi-kun?" I asked.

"Yes?" He answered.

"Happy Birthday..." I said timidly.

"Ah... forget about it! You know how I hate my birthdays." He whined.

"You mean, you don't like it when I greeted you?"

"Not really. I think birthdays are not that important."

"If it's not important, why am I greeting you?" I asked sarcastically.

"Stop asking stupid questions, my dear." He said.

He slowly came closer to me. He draped his arms around my waist. He pulled down his mask to reveal his masculine gorgeous features. I smiled.

"Birthdays become more important if you were beside me... you know." He whispered.

He slowly locked up his lips to mine. I responded with a kiss that I missed for so long. Few seconds after, he released his lips and gave me a smile.

"Would that stop you from asking stupid questions?" He asked.

"Why should I stop? After all, it's your birthday!" I answered.

We both stood in the balcony overlooking the beautiful village square of Konoha. He embraced me from my back and said.

"Birthdays are not important, because I know I got you forever...."

I laughed.

"And, you're turning 30... and, you'll forever hate your birthdays."

"Stop that nonsense."

"It's not a nonsense, my dear. If your birthday didn't come, you wouldn't exist."

The argument stopped for a while. We were still at the same positon. Breathing the air of sweetness and bit, guilt.

"Guess, you win."

And he kissed me again.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hah!! That's a short fanfiction dedicated to Hatake Kakashi. It was his birthday today and I was thinking of making a fiction that depicts on how Kakashi spend his time with a girlfriend.. and yeah... here's a quiz for you... Ciao!


Shikamaru


Which Naruto character do you fight like?(pics)
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Well, this is one of the result of my current favorite and my current research paper. My previous post discusses that I was torn in between of changing my research paper or not. I already asked my very approchable and sweet professor of my Writing class. [Yeah, she does rock!! Unique and fantastic!!] She even speaks Japanese. So, mostly... she can understand my Japanese expressions during her class. She asked me what will be my new topic and I told her it'll be 'Psycho-sexual Disorders' which intrigues her!! Hehe!!

I'm currently searching around the net for some information, and then... I found this!! A psychoanalysis of Naruto Characters!! [Praises for Masashi Kishimoto...] Anyway, I found it in this website. Feel free to visit. The webmistress is even a good fanfiction writer.

Gaara – Suffers from paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations. Paranoia is justifiable, as his father has attempted numerous assassinations. Delusions and hallucinations involve talking to his "mother" and feeding her blood. The shield of sand, which protects and entombs him like a womb, becomes the manifestation of his deceased mother’s love.

Hinata - Inferiority complex perpetuated by a domineering father and a more talented younger sister.

Itachi - Sasuke's older brother commits patricide, matricide, and genocide of the Uchiha clan - signs of sociopathic behavior noted by father include introversion.

Jiraiya - One of the 3 legendary sannins (three ninja team) and a sennin (hermit/sage), but since childhood he's been a peeping tom. Now he's 50, lives as a hermit, but comes to town to spy on women in bathhouses as research for his x-rated books ("Flirting Paradise" and "Make Out Violence"). Naruto calls him the perverted hermit. Voyeurism is considered a disorder of sexual arousal. The onset of voyeurism is usually before the age of 15 and tends to be chronic.

Kakashi - His passive-agressive tendencies are exemplified by his chronic lateness, and the way he ignores Gai. His non-conformist attitude is exemplified by his apparent lack of concern of what people think of him as he reads x-rated novels in public, wears his mask all the time, and doesn't talk about himself.

Naruto - Classic class clown inferiority complex masked by a show of egocentrism. Need for recognition is projected in mischievous behavior.

Neji - Superiority complex tempered by a fatalistic attitude stemming from his bitterness over his father's sacrifice and the Head family's restrictions on the Branch family.

Orochimaru - One of the 3 legendary sannins, but evil! Suffers from the God complex - he literally controls life and death. He uses resurrection techniques, sacrifices his underlings, and seeks immortality for himself. A typical psychotic - he's killed a lot of people, has no conscience, and looks like a total weirdo psycho snake guy!

Sasuke - Superiority complex perpetuated by all those who bow to the Uchiha name. A self-proclaimed avenger consumed by the thought of vengeance against his older brother Itachi. An anti-social loner despite having a bunch of groupies. The trauma of seeing his parents and clan slaughtered by his brother twisted his psyche from a normal child capable of love and laughter to his current persona.

Sakura – As a child suffered from a lack of self confidence, but now that she’s older, she’s a typical teenager with rebellious tendencies. With her past insecurities stemming from bullies picking on her appearance (wide forehead) she looked up to Ino with her stronger personality and became her follower. As she grew older and developed self confidence in large part thanks to Ino, she rebelled against her role as follower and cut her ties with her best friend. The spark that spurred her to this action was their competing feelings for Sasuke.

Tsunade – Suffers from survivor’s guilt, hemophobia, an addictive personality, and a really bad temper. Since childhood she has had a gambling addition and anger management problems. Since the deaths of her loved ones, she developed a fear of blood despite having been a medical specialist.

See? I never thought of seeing a psychoanalysis with anime characters like this. Oh well... I guess I have to continue my work! Ja ne people!! =3

I see myself through this song...

Don't Let It Go To Your Head- Fefe Dobson


So what if I came clean
And told you all you mean to me
So what if I meant every word I said
Baby don't let it go to your head
So what if I write your name
Cause you're always on my brain
In a heart, I paint it crimson red
Baby don't let it go to your head

Don't be getting any big ideas
Let me make it clear

[Chorus:]
Just cause I can't go on
Just cause I die when you're gone
Just cause I think of you in bed
Don't let it go to your head
If I looked in your eyes
One, two, too many times
And memorized every word you said
Don't let it go to your head

So what if I want to kiss
>From your toes up to your lips
It don't mean that you've had me yet
You're gonna be good, I bet

I'm the one whose in control here
Let me make it clear

Just cause I can't go on
Just cause I die when you're gone
Just cause I think of you in bed
Don't let it go to your head
If I looked in your eyes
One, two, too many times
And memorized every word you said
Don't let it go to your head

Ohhhhh
Don't let it go to your head
Ohhhhh

I had a porcelain doll
I held on to it so tightly
But when it broke, I swore
I'd never hold on to something that tightly again
Don't let it go to your head
Oh, no (oh, no)

Just cause I can't go on
Just cause I die when you're gone
Just cause I think of you in bed
Don't let it go to your head
Don't let it go to your head

Just cause I can't go on
Just cause I die when you're gone
Just cause I think of you in bed
Don't let it go to your head
If I looked in your eyes (ohh)
One, two, too many times
And memorized every word you said
Don't let it go to your head (ohh)
Don't let it go to your head (ohh)
Don't let it go to your head (don't let it, don't let it)
Don't let it go to your head (ohh)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I wish I'm live like always like this...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

To Myself I Turned-Lacuna Coil

I was born in another world
strictly connected to a piece of my mind
nothing more than a little land
it is a small cradle where I'm a kid
I am the princess in there,
nothing wrong in my fantasy world

I am the king, the nation,
no dictators or religions
no laws laid down for me
I have my own liberty inside of me
nothing to lose, I want to live here

As you see I'm the only survivor in this land

When did I hear this wind before
change like this to a deeper roar?
I'm starting to bleed another way
I just need some time to complete myself

these spotlights are here again
I can't see anything, I'm blind
this nature of time and space
makes me sick of the situation

I couldn't know if I...
if I will be strong enough for this
I have to choose, do I want to live here?

Nothing really special today. I'm just torn between in deciding to change my current topic of my research paper or not. If I'm going to weight my justifications, I really do need to change it. Since, I was already having difficulty in looking for resources for that damn topic. How I wish my English professor just chose 'Schizophrenia' as my topic than Post-partum Psychoses. I'm really in brink of doing a new thesis statement and outline!!

I already finished my fanfiction, and lol! I end it up bittersweet. Readers actually told me why did I killed my main character. (Damn it, not Itachi! But the OC!) I really not killed her but let her die. It was actually the real idea of bittersweet stories. I really do like the ending... an ideal ending for a hopeless case. Subaru found happiness, Itachi's eyes opened to salvation and Sasuke finally forgave his brother. What is important is that each of my characters find the light that would fill up the holes of their souls. Nyak! I suddenly felt that my story is actually spiritual and not really angst! But, there are several parts that my story fell under tragedy and angst. There was also mystery. So, that's it. I got a lot of reviews telling me that the story was really a good bittersweet ending.

Next plan is... I'm now working into fanfictions. A request from Aunt Pat and a Kakashi/OC fanfiction. I still got goosebumps in making a Kakashi fanfiction since, the plot is seems so tragic and emotional. The first chapter was already emotional and I'm thinking that it would turn out tragic at the middle. But, this time... I'll make sure that this will be a happy ending. That's everyone wants right? A happy ending!

I would like to share some of my favorite lines from my favorites songs, and later on... another set of poems. Not really a lot just like the previous one, it'll be just two poems.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Show me the shadow where true meaning lies,
So much more dismay in empty eyes.
-Exodus by Evanescence

Try to forget you, but without you I feel nothing.
Don't leave me here, by myself.
I can't breathe, I run to you.. call out your name.
I see you there, farther away...
-Farther Away by Evanescence

Somehow I know that we can't wake again from this dream.
It's not real, but it's ours.
-Before The Dawn by Evanescence

How many times have I done this to myself?
How long will it take before I see?
When will this hole in my heart be mended?
Who now is left alone but me...
-Solitude by Evanescence

Rest in me and I'll comfort you.
I have lived and I died for you.
Abide in me and I vow to you.
I will never forsake you.
-Lies by Evanescence

Take your time baby. Your blood needs slowing down.
Breach your soul to reach yourself before you gloom
Reflection of fear makes shadows of nothing... shadows of nothing.
-Wind From Naruto Season 1

I had a porcelain doll.
I held on to it so tightly.
But when it broke, I swore.
I'd never hold on to something that tightly again.
Don't let it go to your head.
-Don't let it go to your head by Fefe Dobson

I want to shine on in the hearts of men.
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand.
Another head aches, another heart breaks.
I'm so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes.
I need direction to perfection.
-All these things that I've done by The Killers

Come a little closer.
Flicker in flight.
We'll have about an inch of space,
But I'm here, I can breath in..
What you breath out.
-Gemini by Spongecola

All these tears that I've cried you must be tired of..
Taking care of me but,
It's what you do best, and I'm a liar 'cause
Really its what I need.
-Finding Myself by Smile Empty Soul

It's just a melody, it bleeds in me
Hard to believe that I've let it go.
-Swamped by Lacuna Coil

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

+ Catch your breath, scream out loud as you start to crawl,
Back in your cold cage.
The only place, where they will leave you,
Alone...

+ Bloodline moonbeams, darkstained light,
Shimmering shadows in a bloodstained night.
Crimson-fold starbursts in a sad heart's blackhole,
Dreams collide with the light in a effor to be whole..

[Note: The second one reminds me of Gaara. Let's continue.]

+I dropped the knife from the ground,
As my eyes being stained all around.
I stared with my eyes widely open,
My sight was slowly being darken.

I saw bloodstains in the floor,
As I slowly closed my door.
From the world of lies and fears,
That always give time for tears.

I slowly sat down in the dark corner,
Should be happy, I'm now farther...
From the world is wish to wash away,
But, I found out... I was fallen astray.

I slowly looked at the mirror,
As I hear footsteps near the door.
I screamed out loud as I see the face,
My heart was beating in uncountable pace.

I saw myself, looking with the same eyes,
Covered up with different kind of lies.
Realizing that inside was nothing,
My whole heart was already rotting.

As I slowly rose up from my seat,
Slowly, step by step dragging my feet.
My other side was already vanishing,
Further to realize, I was fading.

Foolish mind, I said,
You can't easily just let your trust to be laid.
In such people living in the world you once hated,
The world you once escape... fleeted.

Tainted face I see clearly,
In the fire that was burning brightly.

In blood and tears, I'll die.
In blood and tears, I'll soon might...

Be alive and wear that mangled face...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out my Friendster Blog!! Click Sweet Sasuke and Sakura's picture and you'll be transported there! Nyak!

Nothing really important. I just feel plainly bored from the stress of the upcoming opening of classes. And, the war that will escalate from here.

Anyway, I'm grounded. Why?! I attended JREV (Jesus Revolution) last Saturday, and arrived at home by 12 midnight. They got mad because I got home so late. I don't get it! I told them I'll be home by midnight and still, they scolded me as if I didn't give them information! Hmph!!

Well, here the quiz's results I got from the other day. I'm so busy thinking for a gift for Alice's debut. I don't get it when girls have to celebrate their eighteenth birthday that extravagant.


Your Heart is Red


What Color is Your Heart?
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Guys just love...how intellectual you are!


What Do Guys Love About You? (with pics :3)
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Yeah.. Shed tears of sorrow... Sorrowful for the souls that cry from the prison of despair..


Sorrow

You shed tears of sorrow. It seems wherever you go
and whatever you do you end up in pain. Your
emotions are terribly weak and break easy. You
cry the easiest in turn. Everyday and night you
sit alone and weep aching for death.


What type of tears do you shed? (Girl or Guy with pix)
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A Charmer... No wonder people easily fall in love with me... the minute I speak! Duh!

Your Seduction Style: The Charmer

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement. You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you. By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power. And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

"Give Unto Me" - Evanescence

I've been watching you from a distance
The distance sees through your disguise
All I want from you is your hurting
I want to heal you
I want to save you from the dark


[chorus]
Give unto me your troubles
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burden
I'll drink your deadly poison


Why should I care if they hurt you
Somehow it matters more to me
Than if I were hurting myself
Save you (save you)
I'll save you


[repeat chorus]


Fear not the flame of my love's candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness
Give unto me all that frightens you
I'll have your nightmares for you
If you sleep soundly


[repeat chorus]


Fear not the flame of my love's candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness
Give unto me all that frightens you
I'll have your nightmares for you
If you sleep soundly


Fear not the flame of my love's candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness


The Cynic


What human aspect fits your personality? (images)
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Which deadly sin do you represent? (Angel Sanctuary Pics)
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